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Back before we had pants, people would cover their legs with maple syrup. There were a lot more animal attacks those
days. Ever see a man get eaten whole by a raccoon? I did. It wasn't pretty.
Now in those days, raccoons were called
cows, and cows were called fsdalksghjklrhgs. The cows hated the fsdalksghjklrhgs, but that's another story.
Now the
president back then was John Pants. He was tired of the cows. So he says, Punch them all in the eyes. How do you think they
got those black eyes? Oh sure, tons of animal rights groups complained. But it's better this way.
Now John Pants...he
was a man's man. 8'7", 2678 pounds (all muscle), and he carried a big teddy bear. But he was tired of getting his legs cold.
So he asked me, he says, Mickey, he asked, invent me some pants! That's what he asked, I swear.
So I said, yeah. What
the hell are pants? He said, I don't know, just invent them. And I said, okay. Never turn down the request of 2678 pound man.
I toiled away in my workshop one night, and then I saw it. My saw. Now in those days, saws were called funny cutty
things that aren't scissors or knives. I took my saw, and I says, I'm gonna invent me some pants.
So there I was,
my invention complete, and I give them to the President and he says WOW, all I wanted was something to cover my ass with!
And that's how I invented pants. Any questions?
(Everybody raises their hands)
Good. Next week, I'll
tell you how I invented quotation marks.
Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
Friend to All
Post Narc x2
What do you think, sirs?
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