10 Keys to Bush's Reelection

1. Free large pizza and 2 liter bottle of Coke with every vote

2. Threatened to get Katherine Harris involved again if there were problems

3. Ohio loves Bush!!!!!!!!!

4. Promised that if he won, he'd make Schwarzenegger stop quoting those damn Saturday Night Live sketches

5. Bush twins vs. Vanessa Kerry? I mean, really, who we kidding?

6. Promised to drop all the taxes from the cars that Oprah gave out

7. Because TRL didn't enlist Good Charlotte to rock the vote.

8. Worries that gravity would one day lower Kerry's face enough to hit his chin on the button.

9. Poland.

10. The Red Sox won the World Series. Anything's possible.