Celebrity Tale of the Tape

Britney Spears vs. The Music

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Has had such hits as                           Has given us artists

"Oops I Did it Again" and                 like Ace of Base and

"Me Against the Music"                   Simple Plan

Winner: Britney

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Is often enjoyed for her                 Is often enjoyed by

round plastic things.                      listening to round

                                                          plastic things

Winner: The Music

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Has kissed Madonna                 99% of musicians have

                                                       kissed Madonna

Winner: Music's 1%

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Is nekkid during most of                    Gives us videos in all

her video screentime                          states of dress and

                                                               undress

Winner: The Music

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Chief Rival: Christina                        Chief Rivals: That boring

Aguilera                                               bearded guy who keeps

                                                              talking at the Grammys,

                                                              Tipper Gore, WalMart....

                                                              I could go on all day.....

Winner: The Music

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Tale of the Tape Result: The Music: 3.1 to 1