Ten Things George Steinbrennar will do if the Yankees don't win the 2003 World Series

 

1).  Fire Joe Torre, names beloved Mets mascot Mr. Met new manager.

 

2).  Buy KFC, fire Costanza again.

 

3).  Promote Derek Jeter to Team Captain...of restroom attendants.

 

4).  Chop David Wells into pieces, has bitching barbecue.

 

5).  Fires Mets manager Art Howe, just for kicks.

 

6).  Marries Beyonce Knowles because he likes her style.

 

7).  Calls Billy Martin...to ask if his refridgarator's running.

 

8).  Rents out Yankee Stadium to Kevin Costner for a new movie, then

      jump off Empire State Building asking Why, God, Why??

 

9).  Bathes.

 

10).  Buys Sci Fi Channel, fires Bonnie Hammer.