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Who is the Talking Sandwich? Oh sure, we know he's the spokes sandwich for Florida Orange Juice, but the sandwich
has mysteriously popped up on our private message boards to further his agenda. He's rude, pushy, and violent, and I'm
sure the Florida Orange Juice people wouldn't appreciate this gross misuse of their property.
I'm posting his random messages here as a service to the people and in hopes that the sandwich will someday step forward.
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From a message dated Feb. 7th, 2003:
Allow me to introduce myself. I have visited many of these internet message boards in the wake of the cancellation of
my highly amusing series of commercials advertising Florida orange juice. I'm the Talking Sandwich. I like to talk to people
late at night when they open they're refridgerators, and if they don't talk to me, I gouge they're eyes out with the toothpicks
holding up my eyes (That commercial was never shown, unfortunatly).
It's not my fault my commercials were taken off
the air! It's those commie old people who kept getting heart attacks when they saw their food talking! I hate old people!
Mother $%^#@*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Er, drink Florida Orange Juice.
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