UPDATED EVERY SUNDAY!  OR WHENEVER...

 

 

TRACKING SADDAM HUSSIEN....An MHOP NEWS EXCLUSIVE

 

A few months ago, intrepid MHOP reporter .Bob (The Madonna of newsmen) got close enough to Saddam Hussein to place a tracking device on his right shoulder.  Yeah, we could've shared this with CNN, FOXNews, and MSNBC, but they're all a bunch of jerks!  Here are some of the more interesting locations Saddam has hidden during that time (And no, we can't use this to find him.  For some odd reason, it only tells us where he's been)

 

 

4/17, 6:32 AM (Baghdad Central Time):  In the ballpit of Baghdad's Chuck E. Cheese.

 

4/21, 5:08 PM (BCT):  Under Iraq's largest haystack.

 

4/25, 9:21 PM (BCT):  Starbucks (But which Starbucks?  Hmmmmm....)

 

4/30, 12:54 AM (BCT):  Tea party with Bin Laden and Mrs. Doggy in 5 year old girl's bedroom.

 

5/3, 11:09 PM (BCT):   Dancing the night away at Iraq's hottest nightspot "Iraqatopia", cruising for wife number 1,430.

 

5/8, 1:40 AM (BCT):  Camel pit stop

 

5/11, 6:07 AM (BCT):  Flees the country, heads to Siberia to quote "Just get out of the damn heat for a day!"

 

5/17, 7:19 PM (BCT):  Returns to Iraq, and is told that he could've just stayed out of the country to avoid capture.  Saddam is heard to say "D'oh!"

 

5/20, 8:27 AM (BCT):  Buys Weird Al's new cd "Poodle Hat".  It's so good, even murderous tyrants can enjoy it!

 

5/23, 4:19 PM (BCT):  Calls Iraqi information minister to ask him if his refridgerator's running.  The information minister denies having a refridgerator.

 

6/1, 3:28 AM (BCT):  Notices strange glowing red dot on his shoulder.  For some strange reason Saddam flushes himself down his toilet.  The signal stops there.

 

We have every reason to believe that Saddam Hussein is currently hiding out in Iraq's sewer system.  He is armed and presumed stinky.  Proceed with caution.