Memo from the desk of Joss Whedon  3/20/03

Re:  Spin-off

              Congratulations!  So you've decided that you'd like to play the lead in the spin-off of our hit television series "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"!  You've made a fine choice, but we would like you to answer a few questions before pursuing this exciting new career.

1).  Are you an attractive female age 18-21?

                              -or-

      Are you in your thirties but are an attractive female that looks enough like you're  age 18-21?

2).  Do you have any objections (Or allergies) to working with a sweaty and shirtless James Marsters?

3).  Do you remember what's her face from season 4-6 and if so, could you forget her?  We kind of don't like                         

to talk about her.

4).  Can you say the words "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" with a straight face?

5).  Do you have objections to geeks masturbating with you in mind?

6).  Do you know how to deliver motivating speeches while being the least motivational you can be?

7).  Are you, or have you ever been a vampire?  (That could cause a conflict of interest.)