North Dakota Says It Has Nukes

(AP)- In violation of a 1994 pact, North Dakota announced Thursday it had nukes. A shocked President Bush commented on the issue. "Whoa, whoa, whoa....slow down....*North* Dakota????", said the Commander in Chief. Earlier this year, President Bush referred to North Dakota as one of the "Axis of Poinless States", along with New Hampshire and France. Governor John Hoeven said that he's tired of being mocked and ridiculed by his neighbors to the south. "So they have Mount Rushmore. Big friggin' deal. Let's hear what they have to say after a huge friggin' warhead flies up Jefferson's nose!" Is America concerned about it's new crisis? Vice President Dick Cheney says that it's just "Another one for the pile". Negotiations to avert this ctisis will be underway in 2016.

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(Disclaimer: This is not an actual news article. And everyone should know it's not North Dakota that has nukes, it's North Carolina)